DEMYSTIFYING ABUSE 

Posted: April 8, 2017 in UNLEASHIDEA INC.

1.  Good evening everyone. My name is Eniola Ennmae Adeniji and tonight I will speaking on the topic: Demystifying Abuse. #BreakingBarriers

2. People often think of domestic violence as men/women being physically violent towards their partners. #NoToDomesticViolence

3. Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive and threatening behaviors that may include physical, emotional, #NoToDomesticViolence

4. Economic and sexual violence as well as intimidation, isolation and coercion.

5. The purpose of domestic violence is often to establish and exert power and control over another; #NoToDomesticViolence

6.  Men most often use it against their intimate partners, such as current or former spouses or dating partners. #NoToDomesticViolence

7. Domestic violence is behavior that is learned through observation & reinforcement in both the family & society. #NoToDomesticViolence

8. It is not caused by genetics or illness. Domestic violence is repeated because it works. #NoToDomesticViolence

9. Domestic violence allows the perpetrator to gain control of the victim through fear and intimidation. #NoToDomesticViolence

10. Gaining the victim’s compliance, even temporarily, reinforces the perpetrator’s use of these tactics of control.

11. More importantly, however, the perpetrator’s abusive behavior is reinforced by the socially sanctioned belief. #NoToDomesticViolence

12. The one that says men have the right to control women in relationships and to use force to ensure that control. #NoToDomesticViolence

13.  At the age of 22 I was married. I was young, naive,had a great life and job. Domestic violence was just a mirth #NoToDomesticViolence

14. I was oh so in love.I just couldn’t wait for forever. Until a month to the wedding and I was asked to resign. #NoToDomesticViolence

15. It was subtle, yet it was a demand I didn’t seem to have a choice in. He was going to be my husband afterall. #NoToDomesticViolence

16. He wanted me to resign from my job, since we’d be relocating to another town. I was in love, what could go wrong. #NoToDomesticViolence

17. It all began first with making sure I had no source of income then it proceeded to isolation and eventually abuse. #NoToDomesticViolence

18. We need to know that domestic violence can take a variety of shapes and forms. #NoToDomesticViolence

19. From emotional abuse, to sexual abuse and of course to near-fatal physical battering. #NoToDomesticViolence

20. Both married and unmarried women can experience domestic violence, so it isn’t limited to only those married. #NoToDomesticViolence

21.  The first time I spoke out about being abused,someone had asked ‘Did he hit you’, I said NO. She laughed it off #NoToDomesticViolence

22. Yet I was abused daily. But because I wasn’t beaten black and blue, then it was regarded as not a big deal. #NoToDomesticViolence

23. Yet I had fears going to bed every night, because he’d force himself on me and I’d end up with bruises. #NoToDomesticViolence

24. Yet, I wasn’t allowed to go out nor allowed any visitor. We don’t go visiting anyone and no one came visiting. #NoToDomesticViolence

25. The first time I spoke about being a victim of economic abuse in a meeting, everyone had laughed silly, lol. #NoToDomesticViolence

26.  Economic abuse Is defined as making or attempting to make an individual financially dependent. #NoToDomesticViolence

27. By maintaining total control over financial resources,withholding access to money,or forbidding one’s employment #NoToDomesticViolence

28. Yet I found myself here. From being a young purposeful & successful young girl to a woman who can’t afford a pad #NoToDomesticViolence

29. I had to depend on him being happy as a determinant of me having a pad 2 use monthly, or risk using cut fabrics #NoToDomesticViolence

30. I had to depend on the #200 (Two hundred naira), daily given to me, as long as he was happy. #NoToDomesticViolence

31. I finally walked out after 3 miserable years. Yes, I was judged and ridiculed. The stigmatization was at my face. #NoToDomesticViolence

32. Yes I was judged because the society believes, I must have deserve it. Oh, you ought to die there as a woman. #NoToDomesticViolence

33. But that is the story of quite a lot of women. I have counselled over 100 women and just bits of differences. #NoToDomesticViolence

34. We have been made to believe it is only expected of d woman to mk it work. And if it isn’t,just stay there mute #NoToDomesticViolence

35. Nobody deserves to be treated cruel and like an animal. Never ever let anyone make you believe that. #NoToDomesticViolence

36. You are not alone, do not die in an abusive relationship not marriage. If you need help, please seek for it. #NoToDomesticViolence

37. Yes, you may be judged, you may even be laughed at by some. But you  would be ‘Alive’. And that’s all that count #NoToDomesticViolence

38. Thank you very much for having me. I look forward to sharing more in the future. Have a good evening. #NoToDomesticViolence
We want to appreciate Eniola for those expository and insightful words on #BreakingBarriers.
Remember with God its people like us that succeed in life.  
To your success, 

Adedayo Olabamiji  

Twitter : @dayus4heaven 

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